Friday, April 17, 2015

Not All Sunshine and Roses

This blog got very close to being shut down. And, not because I've taken a sudden detest for blogging. No, the journey of Mike and Kim, came precariously close to just being the journey of Kim.

There are no words to describe how bad things got. It started with a stumble in our relationship. Something we should have been able to work through. Something we were trying to find our way though.

I was lost. I believe I've mentioned this before, but Mike and I both suffer from mental illness. And in this case that was nearly our undoing... with a little help from those who would rather use not be together.

I was going days without sleep. Weeks without medication. And it just took a tilt and it all came crashing down. My brain shut off. I attempted suicide and landed in the hospital.

When I came through to the other side I realized my engagement ring was gone.

Despair took over.

Members of his family started texting me harassing hate messages. I had to block them for some sanity.

And then I got a text from him. And I realized I wasn't the only miserable one. We texted for a few days. Called for a few days. And then we snuck out for a visit with eachother.

We pieced together what happened (though there is still a lot missing).

We forgave and decided to move on.

I think sometimes in a relationship all you can do if forgive. If forgiveness would have happened at the first we would have never been through the rest.

Forgiveness isn't forgetting. Not by a long shot. Songs trigger memories. People walking down the street trigger memories. But, I choose to have faith in Mike and he is working so hard to show me that faith is not misplaced.

I'm not a relationship expert by a long shot. I'm just sharing from my heart what has been going on. And our story is still going forward.

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